Mike: OK, for those of you who missed it at yesterday's afternoon press conference, our very own Paul Lassider was hit in the face with a rotten tomato. (All cheer.) Mike: (seriously) And That's a bad thing! (All sigh.) Paul: Honestly, honestly, what kind of guy throws a tomato at another man and runs? I'll tell you what kind-a coward, a wuss. Boy! What I wouldn't give for five minutes alone with that guy! Mike: (watching his watch) He'll be here at noon. Paul: Good! You tell him he's lucky, lucky! I am taking an early lunch! (slipping away) Mike: James were meeting with this farmer this afternoon, were try'n to get him to move his vegetable 1)stand, and I'm gonna want you in there with me, there is a lot riding on this. James: Wow! Thanks, Mike! I'm um, um, honored, flattered. I really don't know what to say. Stuart: Don't let it go to your head, Jethro. You're the only one around here that speaks 2)hick. (In the afternoon.) Mike: Mr. Stepnosky, 3)howdy! Thanks for coming in. Stepnosky: I'm not movin my tomato stand! Mike: Wo, wo, wo, you haven't even heard our offer yet. Now we're willing to pay your entire 4)relocation cost, we'll give you tax 5)abatement for the first year. And to sweeten the pot, a picture of the mayor of New York City personally 6)autographed to you - loyal supporter! Stepnosky: Blairidy, my lawyer, says I got an iron clad lease. I make good money where I am! I'm not leaving! Mike: I hear ya. Key chain, coffee mug. That's it now. And now don't go telling the mayor I did this. Mr. Stepnosky, I promise you, you will sell just as many vegetables downtown. Stepnosky: Tomato is a fruit, Mr.! You call it a vegetable, you might as well put me in a mini-skirt and call me a woman. Mike: Fruit it is! James: Hey Mike, sorry I'm late... (surprisingly) Stepnosky? Mike: You know the vegetable guy? James: Fruit guy, Mike. Back in Wisconsin, Stepnosky and I used to compete in the pig contest at the county fair. Mike: Pig, pig contest? Stepnosky: Where we come from, we take that kind of thing pretty serious, Mr.! (to James) I would have taken you back at 7)Swine Fest 93', but nah you disappeared, vanished without a trace, never to be heard from again. James: I went to college. Stepnosky: Well, you left behind quite a 8)legacy. And no matter how many fairs I won, I was always second best, always in the shadow of 9)hog boy Hobert. Mike: Hog boy? (to Stepnosky) Hey, hey I bet you would like a rematch? Stepnosky: You bet I would. James: No, no, Mike, I'm done with pigging. Mike: (to James) You win, (to Stepnosky) you move your vegetable stand. Stepnosky: Fruit stand. Mike: Whatever.